Sex |

“A Perverted Journey Through The Senses” With London’s Queen of Kink, Dominatrix Miss Kim Rub

Talking monthly dungeon parties, light spanking, and rubber fetishism with The Queen of Clubs and rubber specialist Miss Kim Rub.

At Miingle, we’ll find out everything you could ever want to know about sex and dating to help you make the best choices in your love life. Today, with help from our Content Manager Lisa, we’re delving into the perverted underbelly of London’s BDSM scene and cosying up to Miss Kim Rub, long-time fetish club promoter, kink educator, and professional Dominatrix about the realities of life in the BDSM community.

Be prepared – this interview isn’t for the prudish! No detail is to be spared in our quest for newfound BDSM knowledge. You can watch the full interview here or read the key takeaways below:

Who is Miss Kim Rub?

Kim is well known on the fetish scene for running the wildly popular rubber-only events Club Rub and Rubber Cult. These are events exclusively for rubber fetishists and latex appreciators – that is, people who wanted to wear and be encased by rubber for sexual gratification. Kim ran these rubber-only events monthly for a whopping 22 years before toning it down, retiring Club Rub on its 20th anniversary, and taking Rubber Cult down to its current schedule of just twice per year.

As well as promoting her kinky club nights, Kim is a dedicated fetish educator, running her famous Mistress Workshop in the heart of London to Dominant ladies, who either want to become a professional Dominatrix themselves, or just want to learn a thing or two to surprise their partners with in the comfort of their own bedrooms.

“Yes, there are a few women that attend my workshop that want to become a professional. However, about 80-90% are home users, those people that have got partners or husbands, or just play partners, or those that want to just go out onto the fetish scene and enjoy playing in public or getting themselves a slave. So, yeah, about 10 or 15% ever want to do it as a living. Everyone assumes that the women who go to a workshop want to be professional, but it’s not true. There are more loving, generous, giving women out there than those who are wanting your money!

Wait, you can take classes in BDSM?

Yep. Her Dominatrix/Mistress workshops might be the most-well known of her classes, but Kim also offers some shorter two-hour workshops in and around London, covering how to get involved in a whole range of fetish activities in a way that’s both fun and safe. 

These range from using needles (yikes) and dripping wax on your partner, right through to impact play (spanking) and anal play. Surprisingly, Kim also teaches a social media marketing workshop, because:

“For those ladies that want to become a professional Dominatrix, that’s what you need to be able to get to grips with. You need to be able to market yourself!”

Who wants to be a Dominatrix?

But what of the women that attend Kim’s Mistress Workshop? Are they all military women, or tall warrior Amazons? I asked Miss Kim if there was any one particular type of woman that usually comes along to learn from the Queen of the BDSM fetish scene:

“No, no I get everything. Every shape, size, colour, age. I mean, it takes an enquiring mind. So it is something that engages the brain rather than just the genitalia. So yeah, more of an educated woman I would say.”

Some might be surprised to hear Miss Kim describe BDSM and Female Domination as a cerebral activity, thinking (perhaps naively) that there isn’t much more to it than spanking. So what about kink engages the brain in this way?

“Almost every single BDSM activity involves some kind of thought pattern. Some sort of process. It’s not about laying down with someone and finding the hole. Which is something that we do quite naturally. 

Kim went on to explain that you don’t need a boyfriend or a partner who’s interested in BDSM to get involved or to be interested in the kinky lifestyle or to learn more about becoming a Dominant woman. She says:

“Sometimes it’s just something that’s inside you. Or they’ve heard about the workshop, always been interested in BDSM, are fascinated, and come along just to experience it.” Great news for those of us who are just curious but not ready to pack in the day job!

“It’s nice for people to have a little bit of experience in something they might be a little bit afraid of.”

Women who come along to the Mistress Workshop don’t just get a lovely prosecco and pegging filled day at Kim’s private residence. Attendees are also invited to come to London’s premier FemDom nightclub, Club Pedestal, as well as an invite to the Queen Bee Society and monthly dungeon parties with Kim’s close friend and pro-Domme Mistress Vanessa.

BDSM is more than just spanking

Kim insists that kink, fetishism and BDSM is more than just sadomasochism and pain. So I asked her to explain what other kinds of activities fall under this kinky umbrella.

“BDSM play falls into lots and lots of categories. Most people assume it’s about impact play (that’s hitting) and pain. And that just couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“In fact, if you sign up for a website called FetLife, and go into their list of fetishes, you’ll find hundreds and hundreds of BDSM activities that people enjoy. Anything from sissy play (a form of cross-dressing) to nipple play – I prefer to call it nipple play, but some people call it nipple torture – and then there’s sensory deprivation and of course the fetishists.”

I’m intrigued. Who are the fetishists?! (Don’t worry, I asked for more details.)

“The fetishists can enjoy stockings, leather, rubber (or latex), PVC, corsets, super high heels, boots… so it’s not just about BDSM activities, it’s about fetishisms as well. So it’s much more than you ever think it’s going to be. And my workshop really does just touch on each subject, because each subject in itself is very in-depth.”

(For clarity, we looked this up afterward. A “fetish” is any sexual interest in an object or a part of someone’s body that isn’t their sexual organs. Maybe you have a few fetishes of your own?)

Kim explains that the reason BDSM is more of a cerebral activity than people might think, is because it’s about all the psychological aspects of individual fetishes rather than the activity itself. For example, sissy play involves more than dressing a man up in a frilly dress and leaving it at that, and is instead about the level of trust and humiliation involved in the activity. 

Similarly rubber bondage combines the feel and smell of rubber or latex with the sensation of helplessness that arises from being unable to move when strapped down tight in a rubber body bag – or having sensory deprivation from wearing a tight rubber hood with their eyes covered. 

Kim teachers the women who attend her workshop about how to wield that psychological effect to have the biggest impact on their play partners.

Who goes to visit a Dominatrix?

I figured that with all her experience in rubber, Miss Kim Rub likely attracted rubber fetishists as clients more than any other kind of fetishist. (I’m getting the hang of this kinky lingo already!)

“Yes, you’re exactly right. That and because of the fact that I have lots of rubber. Rubber hoods, rubber sheets, rubber bandages, rubber body bags, inflatable rubber body bags, rubber toe socks, rubber gags… I mean, you know, I do have a lot of rubber stuff. 

So if you want that kind of rubber experience, I’m the woman to come to. And it is very much a bondage experience, and an encapsulation… although, not solely.”

Because BDSM involves so much more than just pain and sadomasochism, Kim explained that a lot of different clients visit her, some just for the intense attention a Dominatrix spends on their client, and some for the creative sensory experiences she can inflict.

bdsm-with-dominatrix

ASMR meets BDSM

I learned that Kim is a pioneer of a completely new kind of female domination – that is, she’s found a way to combine the Youtube sensation ASMR, with her work as a professional Mistress.

This new kink uses the auto sensory meridian response (ASMR) with a bondage experience to create a deep and profound sensation in her clients. Strapped down and unable to move, Kim proceeds to perform a kind of all-out assault on her client’s senses.

“It’s a journey through the senses, while they’re all being bombarded. So I’ll play sounds and whisper in my client’s ear at different parts through the session, and then I might add some smell by spritzing a scarf and dragging it across their face. They’ll have a blindfold on while I’m whispering – and if I’m whispering something, I’m whispering perversions. I’m not asking them if they’d like a cup of tea! It is a perverted journey through the senses, with fur draped over your nipples, or a feather wrapped around your neck.

All of this combined with Miss Kim’s personal playroom, her Dominatrix outfit (“I never dominate anyone in a pair of jeans”), and the fact that the client is trapped in full bondage the entire time still makes it a BDSM experience even though there’s no pain or impact play involved. Miss Kim describes herself as a more “sensual” Mistress than one that deals only in pain.

BDSM in relationships

Miss Kim explains to me that due to the intimate nature of BDSM, it’s a perfect way for women who are interested in becoming more Dominant to become closer to their partners. 

“It touches not just the mind and the body, but the soul. One particular client of mine gets quite overcome. Quite emotional.”

Women who live the dominant life 24/7 with their partners and are naturally Dominant women – sometimes called alphas – usually have a completely female-led relationship. So whether they’re going on holiday, shopping, or deciding what their partner wears to the barbecue, these women are always in control.

If that’s something you think you’d be interested in, Kim suggests joining the website Fetlife. Fetlife is an online community for the kinky, and has a host of information about the specifics of enacting any kind of fetish or fantasy, so you’ll have no problem getting started – as long as you have a willing subject.

Kim also surprises me with the fact that there are a lot of sex positive podcasts that offer advice and tips on how to get started with a BDSM relationship. (And of course, you can join the Mistress Workshop for a day-long crash course!)

There’s something for everyone, and being a Mistress isn’t “one size fits all”. Kim stresses that as the woman in charge, you can pick and choose the parts of the fetish lifestyle that suit you and your circumstances. You’re in charge so you say what’s on the cards!

And if your play partner wants something badly enough, barter for something in return. New clothes, anyone?

bdsm-relationship

Life as a Mistress

As Kim’s experience spans decades, I was interested to find out some of the highlights of her career. When asked what she’s most proud of, Kim reveals that the entirety of Club Rub’s history has been immortalised at the Bishopsgate Institute in London, who approached Miss Kim to document this piece of London fetish scene history. It’s now available for everyone to see at the institute. (The Miingle team will be visiting as soon as poss!)

If you want to learn more about Miss Kim, you can visit her website: https://www.misskimrub.com/ 

Sign up for the Mistress Workshop: https://www.mistressworkshop.com/ (other workshops can be found here.)

Check out the next Rubber Cult event: http://www.rubber-cult.com/ 

Or take a look back at Club Rub: http://www.club-rub.com/ 

0 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.