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Speed Dating: What To Say And What Not to Say

It’s true – speed dating is not for the fainthearted. Meeting a group of strangers and introducing yourself on a loop cycle for up to two whole hours? Not for everybody. But for those courageous enough to take on the challenge and meet the person of their dreams, it’s important to follow correct speed dating etiquette and know what not to say when speed dating.

What is speed dating?

For those not in the know, speed dating is a formalised matchmaking process where groups of singles have a dedicated few minutes to converse with multiple potential partners. Following these brief conversations, partners switch to the next person in line for a chat. Basically – you have very little time to impress a large volume of people. That being said – the results can be 100% worth it, with more and more people engaging with the new form of dating as of 2019. 

Getting all set for your first speed dating experience? Here’s what you should and shouldn’t say throughout the daunting yet exhilarating process.

What To Say And Do When Speed Dating

Address the elephant in the room. That you are most likely very nervous. People appreciate honesty, and can relate. In stating that you’re feeling a little anxious about the situation your partner will probably feel more at ease themselves, making them more open and easy to talk to.

Ask questions about their hobbies. What do they like doing in their spare time? Getting straight to the recreational stuff shows your fun side and that you are interested in getting to know the nitty gritty components of your partner’s personality.

Say that you are having a great time and are excited by the entire process. People are drawn to the warmth and energy that positive people bring and will want to get to know you better as a result.

Say what you are really thinking. This sounds simple, but it’s important not to sound too scripted. If you are thinking that this is the most unusual situation you’ve ever been in in your life, then say so. As long as you remain happy and kind throughout, speaking your truth is an important characteristic to maintain.

Say: ‘what do you think?’ It’s important to express your opinions and talk about yourself, but it’s also important that you include your partner in this conversation. Ask them if they agree with certain opinions that you have and always ensure you are turning the conversation back around to them. Psst! And if you’re just one of those people who always blanks out and doesn’t know what to ask – you can check out this post and infographic with the top speed-dating questions to ask.

What Not to Say When Speed Dating

Respond in a way that shows you are listening. Do not say generic and autopilot sentences in an attempt to fast-forward to what you will say next. Listen to your partner and let the conversation follows its natural course.

Do not interrupt your partner. It’s rude and projects a level of self-entitlement and ego that is unattractive to most people.

Do not talk about work. Although it’s such an easy conversation starter, it’s better to leave the professional talk outside of the speed dating venue and talk about more emotion-based topics.

Do not overshare. Sometimes when people get nervous they say too much about themselves and their history. Of course, be open and honest with your partner, but remember that you have just met and that sharing too much too soon could be overwhelming for the person you’re talking to. Plus, it’s nice to maintain a certain level of mystery during a first date. 

Do not discuss politics on your first date. Even if you feel passionately about the subject, it’s best to wait until a few dates down the line before you bring up any political debates. Sure, it’s important to know whether or not someone shares the same values as you do, but it’s not something to delve into during a first speed dating date. 


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